It’s no secret the world thinks Morning People are better than those of us who dgaf about a sunrise. Never mind that people who own leafblowers and the majority of serial killers are statistically more likely to be early risers.

I’ve never been a Morning Person. I wasn’t even a morning baby, and back then nobody complained. Babies who slept til ten were just called “good” babies.

Despite what society/my brother believes, I don’t buy into the narrative that late-risers are less-than. Waking up like a Victorian consumptive after a fainting spell is just part of my personality. Leave the smelling salts next to the bed and don’t call me before noon. The early birds can keep their worms while I DoorDash an Egg McMuffin and an americano at 10:58 AM.

Lately though, my mornings are getting rougher. Instead of gently coming-to behind the curtains of an antique canopy bed, I wake up feeling like a three thousand pound rhino who has just been hit by a tranquilizer dart.

My circadia has no rhythm. When my alarm (bladder) decides that getting up is imperative, I force my unwilling body into a state of semi-consciousness by reaching for my phone and shining the flashlight directly in my face. This tactic ensures that I will be alert enough to stand semi-supported, but does nothing to mitigate the dizziness, weakness and spasticity that make themselves known as I stagger towards the bathroom. While the Morning People are mainlinling protein powder and answering emails in the dark, I spend the first few hours of my day trying to convince my legs to leg, waiting for 20 ounces of coffee and an anti-narcolepsy med to kick in.

I’ve been suffering in silence for years (not really, I complain a lot) and then I read this article. Research validates that mornings can be worse with MS. In fact, my pre-lunch languishing might even be a sign of so-called “silent” MS progression. (Try to look past the not-tired energy of the article’s image of a woman “eating a light breakfast while preparing to exercise.” What is this, the Olympics?)

According to the study, wearable technology can help identify subtle drops in morning activity. When MRIs are stable, progression that is independent of relapse activity (PIRA) is notoriously difficult to diagnose. My sluggishness doesn’t show up on a 25 ft timed walk test. Probably. I don’t know for sure because I never accept morning appointments.

On the other hand, my phone regulary clocks changes in my movements, sending me super rude observations like, “you’re walking less than you do on a typical day,” or “your steps this month are fewer than last month.”

It can be tempting to dismiss difficult mornings as personal shortcomings rather than signs of neurological damage. Just as we assign a moral value to getting up early, it can feel like certain MS symptoms are character flaws rather than evidence of actual brain damage. Fatigue gets dismissed as not trying hard enough. Cog fog is interpreted as a failure to pay attention. Needing a bit of extra processing time reads like incompetence or stupidity. Meanwhile, lots of people are a little stiff and cranky in the morning.

The good news is that this research suggests my morning suffering isn’t all in my head. It’s in my brain. So, I guess the good news is also the bad news.

Of course, garbage mornings aren’t always a sign of MS progression. Maybe you’re just a b before coffee. “More research is needed to confirm these findings.” But if your mornings feel disproportionately brutal lately, your body (and your phone) might be trying to communicate something beyond, “caffeine, please.” If it takes five minutes to put on pants when it used to take thirty seconds, it may be worth a conversation with your doctor.

When your MRI is stable but things still seem to be getting worse, it’s easy to wonder if the problem is actually you. For those of us trying to navigate silent, insidious MS progression, having our experiences documented instead of dismissed has never been more important.

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Source: trippingonair.com