Remember lockdown number one in 2020, when all physio stopped, swimming pools closed? Well, at that time I lost movement in my right arm. My right hand has had poor dexterity since a relapse in 2010 (one of my last classic ‘relapses’). but I noticed then that I suddenly couldn’t lift my right arm up, for example to tie my hair, it just wouldn’t move above shoulder height.
As anyone with a health condition knows, the support available during that first lockdown was non existent. I hoped that when exercise resumed the strength would too, but by the time I had my annual consultation with my neurologist, I knew that it hadn’t. He referred me for NHS physiotherapy… then in the months of wait that followed, I spent hundreds of pounds privately to try and regain movement. The physio helped reduce the pain now in my shoulder, often keeping me up at nights, and my GP injected a steroid into my ‘frozen shoulder’ for good measure, but by the time I saw the neuro-physio in 2021, I was fairly resigned that this was an MS development.
Still, we both played along and went through the exercises I had already been doing for months until he reached the same conclusion and referred me to see a spasticity specialist to try Botox, a slightly left field approach but I was willing to try anything. By spring 2022 when I finally saw the specialist, I was sadly used to my right arm being void of any function. Despite having had MS for nearly 20 years though, I’d never had Botox treatment before, so who knows?! I do wonder at the human condition to still feel that bit of hope even when your brain tells you better.
He had a prod around my arm and shoulder and found a lot of spasticity within my right bicep particularly, pointed at a suitcase in the corner of the room and said he could either inject me in another appointment in a month, or there and then. Having waited two years already we went for it. It’s a particularly unpleasant set of injections which have to go through various muscles to reach the desired spot, and he warned me it was a balancing act between easing cramp and maintaining function… unlikely to deliver me the full range.
The thing about Botox is, it deadens your muscle and forces it into relaxation, hence its use on frown lines. So I did notice that I was able to hold my arm straighter, even lying down in bed, and my right shoulder blade wasn’t as raised as it usually is. But beyond that extra straightness, I didn’t regain any movement – if anything the grip in my right hand has got weaker (which the specialist denies is linked). The doctor and I looked at each other in my follow up appointment and all I could say was ‘I knew it was MS damage all along’. He looked sympathetic and said that we were still right to try this course of treatment in case. So there we are.
I still wonder if the initial 2020 damage was linked to the lockdown of services, or a coincidence. I wonder whether, had I been able to see medical professionals sooner, the outcome would be different. Or whether ultimately, this was just an inescapable MS trajectory. Either way I don’t think I’ll have Botox again, at least not for MS.
Source: thinkindecimals.wordpress.com